Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Thoughts of an Accountancy Student

I needed a degree.

I had a PhD in mathematical drinking.
Count the glasses on your left, one… two…
Now on your right, three… four…

My sister warned me about my tummy. After checking her measuring tape, she advised me to either lose some flab or add inches to my chest.

I imagined being pulled by wild horses in all directions.

"I'll try Accountancy."

Why not take up Engineering?” my father asked. Well, with Accountancy you don’t need a set of P1,000 pens. A P50 calculator from Recto will do. Besides, I heard Accountancy is a “mild” course. At my young age, low concentration is much preferable.
(Of course, nobody warned me then about “Higher Accounting.”)

On the first week of my sophomore year (the fun started here!), CPA required me to read theories—rolling my eyes forward and backward until you know what it feels like to be a referee of a tennis game.

Time out! Breathe in… Wait for both eyes to focus on one topic… Breathe out…

I took this time to observe my classmates. I watched a particular pair. One was a girl, who looked like she’d fit in a golf bag; & the other was a boy who looked like ONE LEG would fit in a golf bag.

Girl scored more on theories than boy.


I remembered my Accounting 1 days (flashes back).
Sir Mike,” I asked, “Why do you admit girls who seem to take life so seriously? Aren’t there pretty ones we can chat around with?
Sorry, hijo” he told me, “No room for petite accountants. Me likes bookworms.

(Flashes forward)
How can a girl score big on Accounting over a guy?
Choreographed? Like a Pro-Wrestling match?
I found out as days passed by.


No, read the problem all over again when you’re having a hard time. No screaming, please.

CPA advised me to relax throughout the computations. This lessens the pain of accepting an error, he said.

Sir, I gun long jumpers to earn some playing time whenever I play basketball. I find it hard to relax when these Accounting Problems double the pressure on my shooting arm.

I tried a “weaker” problem. The girl that beat me in topping our preliminary exams might show a little compassion. The technique is the anticipation. “As you read & study,” CPA said, “answer the chapter problems for effect."


No, no. Raise your PEN, not your voice…

On my first two years, I lost a couple of inches, 50 gallons of sweat & every sensation on the upper part of my body.

Curious, my friend visited to watch one session.
Am I in the wrong class?” he asked. “This looks like Sister Act 3—Nuns with Calculators.”

That’s how graceful Accounting Subjects are.” I explained. “You flow with the rhythm of your class.
Looks like a sissy subject to me.” He teased.

HHOOOOYYYY!!! Not all accountants are with questionable chromosomes, Lokong ‘to!

After a few months he appreciated what the course has done for me upon meeting a mutual female friend of ours. (“His fingers remain stiff even when he’s not using his calculator…”)

I’ve been “Solving Accounting Problems” for over 3 years now. I have regained most of what I have lost because I didn’t quit. I realized I’m into it for an entirely different reason now. Accounting taught me a lot about patience and resilience. The competitive attitude it preaches taught me to be a better person.

My friends say the best virtue I got from accounting is humility. "Aba, marunong ka nang mag-“SORRY” ‘pag may kasalanan ka ha?

I said hey, that’s what we practice Auditing for.

Note: This article was written by Yam during his Senior Year in College. It was submitted for publication in the Official Gazette of the Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants Region III. Unfortunately, the incumbent Region III President at that time thought it was unfit for publication.