Sanukness

Last night, I got myself a pair of Sanuk shoes uhmm… I mean sandals because these are not shoes.

Sanuk sandals are very comfortable and very easy to wear. These are perfect since summer is just around the corner. Plus, I get to wear some surfer merchandise. Sweet!

ROAR!!!

The results are in and it’s now official: I’m returning to my Benedictine roots.

I received a superior rating with only a couple of points shy of an excellent rating. This news may be nothing for you but it is a big deal for me, especially when the other law school denied my admission last year although I know deep inside that I passed its admission tests.

The Big Guy Above always has His reasons. “Salamat po!”

Fine Time at San Fabian

My Pa is an ardent devotee of the Virgin of Manaoag. Last year, after he got this cool job in an oil company, Pa drove us to the famous pilgrimage site in Manaoag, Pangasinan to give thanks for all the blessings the family has received from The Big Guy above. After hearing mass and lighting our candles, we went to the nearby seaside town of San Fabian.

I have been to San Fabian before and my memories of that trip are somewhat bleak. It was during my kindergarten years when Angel Mama tagged my sister and me along in this pilgrimage trip sponsored by the Golden Babies, a parish group for ladies above fifty years of age. ‘Ma Sisa (RIP), my Grandma’s younger sister and our neighbor, invited us to join the trip. ‘Ma Sisa was also one of the prominent members of the Golden Babies. I think we went there during the rainy season. I remember this because we visited typhoon ravaged churches, one of which had its roof totally destroyed. All I can recall of San Fabian is me building sand castles and catching crabs with other kids along this long stretch of beach.

Our trip last year made me anticipate the enjoyment of coming back to a place I almost lost in my memory. Pa brought us to this spot perfect for reminiscing: San Fabian PTA Beach Resort in Barangay Bolasi.

SFPTABR was established during the time of former President Ferdinand Marcos and was formerly known as “The Presidential Resthouse.” It served as a place for the first family to unwind whenever they were in the area. Because of its obvious native characteristics, the main building of the resort is much like a Bahay Kubo Hotel. I was also informed that SFPTABR also has a Presidential Suite. It’s always fascinating to imagine getting pampered in a room fit for a President.

SFPTABR also has a good share of the tourist market which is quite impressive for a simple town resort. I spotted some Caucasians having coffee at the resort’s spacious veranda. I also saw this American lady playing with the local children by the beach. At the beach entrance, there are two markers, shaped like tombs, commemorating the landing of the Japanese Troops at San Fabian Beach during World War II.

The resort also has a swimming pool near its beach front rooms. Its picnic sheds are ideal for relaxation and comfort. I took a nap in one of these. The addition of the sea breeze blowing right through your face and the soothing sound of sea waves just made napping more special. The picnic sheds are also a good venue for studying alone. I saw a girl reading her books in preparation for the Philippine Nursing Board Examinations in one of the sheds.

My return to San Fabian is just as special as the sparkle of its clear blue waters under the summer sun. It would always be nice to escape the city hustle once in awhile to enjoy the serenity of San Fabian beach. My felicitations to Pa for the experience.

The City Hall of San Fernando, Pampanga Employs Lebron James & Dwyane Wade Wannabe’s

Before 2007 came to an end, I went to our city hall to voluntarily pay our real property tax due for 2007 & 2008. As I entered the city hall, I saw cashiers staring blankly towards space. I can’t blame them for being completely useless since people usually go to the city hall to ask for help rather than to pay taxes.

I went to the helpdesk and asked for directions. The girl behind the help desk required me to log my name for every question I asked. I guess she needed proof for her quota or else she won’t get paid.

I went to the real property tax window for my payment but the guy behind it, after being disturbed from his conversation with his peers, requested me to proceed to the real property assessment office because he doesn’t have access to the official receipts issued for real property tax payments from 2006. So instead of making payments easier for the taxpayer, the city hall actually wastes taxpayer time by having an awful, or should I say terrible, document management.

In the real property assessment office, I stood in a small line to wait my turn. I was accommodated by a nice old lady whose name I forgot because she was not wearing any ID. I was there patiently waiting for my turn when D-Wade, aka The Flash, bumped me hard as he drove his paper ball to the makeshift basketball ring inside the assessment office. He was followed by King James who hit my knee as he hurriedly followed The Flash. After driving to the hoop, the former screamed "Dwyaaaaaaaannneee Waaaaaaaaadde!" I was a witness! I was pissed!

The mayor has always been criticized for hiring too many people, not to mention incompetent ones, to do redundant jobs. Witnessing such lunacy is too much for me. If these two douche bags think that playing basketball inside a government office will raise them to NBA glory then the mayor must be a real crack to hire these people. If only they had any form of identification, I swear their names would be posted in this blog entry larger than their butt-fucked assholes.

Faro De Cabo Bojeador is Haunted!!!

The rumors were true after all. Cape Bojeador Lighthouse in Burgos, Ilocos Norte is freaking haunted!

I ignored tales about the old Spanish lighthouse. It was on a TV documentary (I think it was ABS-CBN’s Nginig, I’m not so sure) when I first learned about the famous Faro. They were doing a Halloween special featuring the scariest places in the Philippines. I thought it was all a hoax since it has been a yearly presentation and that my guess was they were running out of Halloween stories. Man, was I dead wrong! Let me share my story…

I was coming from the Bangui Windmills when I decided to stop by the Burgos Lighthouse. Actually, I already removed the lighthouse visit from my Ilocos Norte itinerary because the guy from the hotel told me it is inaccessible without an automobile. It all changed when the preacher I met at Bangui told me it was only a kilometer away from the main road. Later, I discovered it was a kilometer of uphill hike.

Before I boarded off the bus, I had the following conversation with the people in the bus:

Me: “Pakibaba ho ako sa may papuntang lighthouse.” (Please drop me off the road to the lighthouse.)

Konduktor, a bit surprised: “Ikaw lang?” (You’re alone?)

Lady at the backseat: “Bakit ikaw lang? Malayo ang lalakarin mo papunta sa itaas.” (Why alone? It’s a long climb to the top.)

Me: “Kaya ho!” (I’ll be fine!)

Irritated over the lady’s obvious eavesdropping, I hurriedly went off the bus. I was surprised to see all the passengers looking at me with the same look of concern like that of the lady eavesdropper. They were all seemingly worried and uncomfortable.

Elderly Lady: “Balong, mag-iingat ka sa itaas. Mag-iingat ka…” (Son, be cautious at the top. Be very cautious…)

Before I had the chance to react, the bus sped off.

I was very clueless about what the passengers were trying to say for I knew all along that I’ll be fine since there’s a caretaker above the hill. It was too late when I found out.

I started my hike towards the lighthouse. The forest was largely wild making the journey a little hotter than usual. I was all sweaty because of the steep climb. In spite of my condition, I started to have goose bumps. I think that was a sign that forest elves were spying on me while I was ascending.

I arrived at the concrete stairs connecting the lighthouse to the road. The place was scenic. I took my 1st picture of the lighthouse midway through the stairs. Before I reach the entrance, I heard voices of children getting scolded by an elder. Upon hearing the voices, I was somehow relieved of my anxiety knowing that the caretaker was around. I called for the caretaker but he didn’t answer. My guess is that they were about to have their siesta. So as not to bother them, I decided to enter the courtyard and took my 2nd photo there. This courtyard view of the lighthouse has always been featured in many articles and magazines.

I entered the corridor leading to the entrance of the main tower. After I took my 3rd photo, I discovered that the door to the tower was locked. I walked back to the corridor to call on the caretaker. When I was about to knock, I was surprised to see that all four old wooden doors at the corridor were locked. I asked myself “Where the hell is that caretaker staying?”

I stood at the terrace to see the two buildings at the side of courtyard. I then discovered that those were actually storage rooms.

“If those were storage rooms, where did those voices come from?”

I gazed towards the lighthouse’s old gate and saw a huge chain vaulted over it. I realized there was nobody in the place except for me. I then felt a gush of cold wind blow over my left ear. Seconds later I was having goose bumps all over my body. I’m serious! Down to the last hair!

“Damn it! I’m all fucked up!!!”

Just as I was freaking out, I started to hear voices again. This time, the voices were right on my ear. I was hearing them all simultaneously. I can’t understand what they were saying. It was like those whispers being heard on Lost. The children’s voices were filled with pain. They were as if blaming me for something. The elder’s voice was purely madness!

I wasted no time in getting my butt out of there. As I was rushing to get down, I tripped on my tripod and there flew my digital camera. When I was picking the camera, there went the voices again. I hurriedly grabbed my damaged camera and ran like crazy, screaming “Sorry po, sorry po! Hindi na mauulit!”(I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!) all the way to the bottom of the hill.

Picturesque isn’t it? Don’t let its beauty fool you.

Actually, it freaks me out to write this article because I have to imagine myself experiencing the whole misfortune once again. I just don’t think I’ll be returning to this place anytime soon, more so without a group.

I never thought there will come a time that my digital camera will get damaged, not to mention by supernatural beings. It saddens me to think that it got scratched on my very first travel to document lighthouses here in the Philippines. I hope not all lighthouses in the Philippines are haunted. I really do hope so.

A Day After The Glorietta 2 Explosion...

Angel Mama: “Anak, nabili mo na ba yung pantalon na gusto mong isuot sa darating mong kaarawan… yung Guess?”

Little Yummy: “No Mom, they blew up the mall yesterday.”

Angel Mama: “Susmaryosep!”

Assuming that it was an accident and that it was all shit gas killing eleven people, I still think that the negligence behind this disaster should be looked into and dealt upon accordingly. It is the responsibility of the management to look after the well being of its patrons. Shopping should be fun, not fatal.

25th Anniversary: Philippine Martial Law

Never again...

One Hundred Years of Scouting

I recently grabbed the stamp sheet above at the Makati Central Post Office. The stamps were beautifully painted by Nemi Miranda Jr.. It was great to have the proceeds from the sale of the stamps given to the Philippine Tuberculosis Society, Inc.. It was like hitting two birds with a stone: you get to do charity while pursuing your hobby.

Plus, I was once a Scout.

Revitalizing my Benedictine Blood

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet Maureen, an old friend from Palawan. Actually, it was just our first time to hang out with each other since NFJPIA’s 20th Annual National Convention held last 2003 at Puerto Princesa City where her school acted as host. I also wasn’t able to see her during our CPA review days.

Mau is currently studying Law at San Beda College. She invited me to hear mass at San Beda Chapel since Fr. Africa, her Seminar Professor, was the presiding priest. Mau mentioned to me before that Fr. Africa’s sermons were very good (Later, I found Mau’s story about Fr. Africa very true since his homily did not disappoint me.). She also stated that Fr. Africa is the spiritual director of the San Beda Red Lions, the school’s basketball team. The Red Lions are required to attend mass every first Sunday of the month that’s why we were lucky enough to see the likes of Pong, Yousif, and Sam.

San Beda Chapel was designed by the Swedish architect George Asp, whose works include the first buildings of Holy Ghost College (now College of the Holy Spirit) on Mendiola Street and St. Theresa’s College on San Marcelino. The church was completed in 1925 and dedicated to the Holy Name of Jesus on January 13, 1926.

The chapel was described vividly in San Beda College’s web page:

“The monastic community calls it the Abbey Church while the school population calls it the College Chapel, for it serves the Abbey and the college, and is a source of pride for both. The monks sing the Divine Office and celebrate the Conventual Mass daily in the sanctuary, and students, teachers, administrators, and workers gather for Masses that celebrate various events in the life of the school.”

It was described that once a person enters the nave, he experiences the sudden expansion of space and an unexpected profusion of color. Cool huh?

The paintings are also the most famous and most admired feature of the church. The paintings are the works of Fr. Lesmes Lopez, OSB, while the decorations around the paintings were done by Bro. Salvador Alberich, OSB. Both are Spanish monks.

On the walls of the sanctuary are representations of The Nativity, The Circumcision, The Holy Family at Nazareth, Jesus with the Teachers in the Temple, The Adoration of the Magi, The Presentation in the Temple, The Flight to Egypt, and The Annunciation.

Outside you can see the abbey gardens.


After hearing mass, my desire to attend law school flamed once more. I hope, with God’s blessing, I can achieve my dream of becoming a lawyer soon.

Cristine Reyes' FHM Autograph Signing

After reportorial deadlines barred me from seeing Bianca King and Iwa Moto in the flesh, nothing will keep me from attending Christine Reyes’ FHM Autograph Signing. I grabbed a copy of FHM Philippines’ August 2007 issue and rushed down to Robinsons Galleria.

Setting up an FHM Event in front of a supermarket was terribly wrong by all means. I think that the FHM Staff should have browsed some statistics on how many people shop in supermarkets at rush hour. Cristine sure drew some crowd. The line could have been shorter if not for the Uziseros taking pictures with their mobile phones.

Cristine was very beautiful, by the way, with the dress that she was wearing. Her dress was fashionable yet very sexy. She balanced everything up with a rosary necklace. Her legs were also a sight to behold! She also smiled frequently that made her even more glamorous.

When my turn came up, I said hi and Cristine greeted back with a smile. She was very warm and accommodating. After signing my mag, my un-chivalric nature asked her to stand up for a photo with me. As usual, the FHM Staff who took our picture bungled the shot (see the hand?).

All in all, Cristine was really scorching hot! I can’t wait to see her upcoming movie.

Wag Ka Nang Umiyak

Sugarfree sure does make good music.

Kudos, as always, to Sugarfree!

LeBroom!

Well, Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers were swept in the 2007 NBA Finals. I wouldn't even write about how awful he played in his first Finals appearance. I guess his funeral business at Bulaon Resettlement in San Fernando, Pampanga took a lot from him.

Paella Masters & Bull Murderers

The Bull on the left is Morito, aka Toro No.25. Last May 5, 1978, M25 was very unfortunate to have met a guy named Jose Luis Gallosa.

J-Lu, as his peers call him, went on a duel with crowd favorite Morito. M25’s fancy for anything red turned out to be the cause of his demise when J-Lu pierced sharp spears into Morito’s shoulder after the proud bull went crazy upon seeing J-Lu wave his red underwear.

Now, Morito’s head is proudly displayed in Casa Armas. Please be aware that I am neither a fan of animal maltreatment nor gay matadors. I just would like to point out that I am very thankful that we visitors can still appreciate some Spanish Culture here in beautiful Greenbelt.

Ask me about the food and I’ll go straight to the point. Casa Armas serves the best Paella! 10/10!

Add up some Spanish Sardines and some of those Oil-Soaked Barbeques and you’re all set up. No wonder Spanish people sport facial oil that much.

Casa Armas is located at Greenbelt 3 in Makati City with branches in Malate and Tomas Morato.

Thoughts of an Accountancy Student

I needed a degree.

I had a PhD in mathematical drinking.
Count the glasses on your left, one… two…
Now on your right, three… four…

My sister warned me about my tummy. After checking her measuring tape, she advised me to either lose some flab or add inches to my chest.

I imagined being pulled by wild horses in all directions.
Nah…

"I'll try Accountancy."

“Why not take up Engineering?” my father asked. Well, with Accountancy you don’t need a set of P1,000 pens. A P50 calculator from Recto will do. Besides, I heard Accountancy is a “mild” course. At my young age, low concentration is much preferable.
(Of course, nobody warned me then about “Higher Accounting.”)

On the first week of my sophomore year (the fun started here!), CPA required me to read theories—rolling my eyes forward and backward until you know what it feels like to be a referee of a tennis game.

Time out! Breathe in… Wait for both eyes to focus on one topic… Breathe out…

I took this time to observe my classmates. I watched a particular pair. One was a girl, who looked like she’d fit in a golf bag; & the other was a boy who looked like ONE LEG would fit in a golf bag.

Girl scored more on theories than boy.

Wow.

I remembered my Accounting 1 days (flashes back).
“Sir Mike,” I asked, “Why do you admit girls who seem to take life so seriously? Aren’t there pretty ones we can chat around with?”
“Sorry, hijo” he told me, “No room for petite accountants. Me likes bookworms.”

(Flashes forward)
How can a girl score big on Accounting over a guy?
Choreographed? Like a Pro-Wrestling match?
I found out as days passed by.

AAAAAYYYOOOOOKKKKKKOOOOONNNNAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

“No, read the problem all over again when you’re having a hard time. No screaming, please.”

CPA advised me to relax throughout the computations. This lessens the pain of accepting an error, he said.

“Sir, I gun long jumpers to earn some playing time whenever I play basketball. I find it hard to relax when these Accounting Problems double the pressure on my shooting arm.”

I tried a “weaker” problem. The girl that beat me in topping our preliminary exams might show a little compassion. The technique is the anticipation. “As you read & study,” CPA said, “answer the chapter problems for effect."

YYEEEESSSHH!!!!!

“No, no. Raise your PEN, not your voice…”

On my first two years, I lost a couple of inches, 50 gallons of sweat & every sensation on the upper part of my body.

Curious, my friend visited to watch one session.
“Am I in the wrong class?” he asked. “This looks like Sister Act 3—Nuns with Calculators.”

“That’s how graceful Accounting Subjects are.” I explained. “You flow with the rhythm of your class.”
“Looks like a sissy subject to me.” He teased.

“HHOOOOYYYY!!! Not all accountants are with questionable chromosomes, Lokong ‘to!”

After a few months he appreciated what the course has done for me upon meeting a mutual female friend of ours. (“His fingers remain stiff even when he’s not using his calculator…”)

I’ve been “Solving Accounting Problems” for over 3 years now. I have regained most of what I have lost because I didn’t quit. I realized I’m into it for an entirely different reason now. Accounting taught me a lot about patience and resilience. The competitive attitude it preaches taught me to be a better person.

My friends say the best virtue I got from accounting is humility. "Aba, marunong ka nang mag-“SORRY” ‘pag may kasalanan ka ha?”

I said hey, that’s what we practice Auditing for.


Note: This article was written by Yam during his Senior Year in College. It was submitted for publication in the Official Gazette of the Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants Region III. Unfortunately, the incumbent Region III President at that time thought it was unfit for publication.

Speech-All-You-Can

My new employer puts so much emphasis on its values. It also makes sure that we treat our foreign guests with every ounce of hospitality by taking them to dinner. This is why my team & I decided to dine at Dad’s in Glorietta.

Dad’s is not your ordinary Eat-All-You-Can joint. It features the Crossover Plate where you get to stuff your plate with delicacies from both food sections, Native Filipino and Japanese.

When looking for a place to dine with your date, you cannot go wrong with Dad’s. The prices are not high. Plus, you get to receive a cool stuffed toy you can play with afterwards.

Dad's stuffed toys are so cute...

...you can even ask your date to play with you!

On to the Land of the Dam

Working in an auditing firm leaves you little room for perks. However, these perks come in amazing forms. Most notable among these is the chance to travel and see different places.

Actually, I got the chance to travel during my stint as a trainee back in 2003. I was blessed enough to be assigned to the Hospitality Group of that particular firm. That is when hotel-hopping became a household name for me. I used this as a motivation to pursue a career in auditing.

When I came to my preferred firm, I chose to join the Tax Division for less work. I mean traveling wouldn’t be that enjoyable if you carry the stress of work along with you. Unfortunately, the law of audit economics applied: the lesser the duty, the lesser the need to travel.

It became a dog-eat-dog world for me because the opportunity to travel became very rare. I usually settled for nearby provinces (Cavite, Laguna) just so that I can jump aboard something that moves and hear the soothing sound of “Where to?” Never has it come to my attention that engagements such as those are cheap. Well, I discovered everything soon enough. The worst part is that there was no accommodation included in those engagements hence I traveled my ass back and forth for consecutive days just so I can finish before the deadline.

My friends got the chance to travel one by one: Joseph in Cagayan de Oro, Chie-Chie in Siargao, Robin in Naga City. Since I already tendered my resignation, I never though I would be given the chance to experience something I have always wanted. Last November 16, Fred informed me that we will be going to Pangasinan for an engagement with San Roque Power Corporation (SRPC).

Okay, Pangasinan it is.

At first I thought is as one of those cheap PEZA companies I have often visited in Laguna and Cavite. Oh man was I dead wrong! Allow me to share the details of my experience:

The team consisted of me, Eugene, Jonatz, and Jake. Fred also tagged along to accompany us during the first few days. On our first day we met Irwin, the driver assigned to us. This guy is flaky. He knows a lot of things from college whores to dead people walking. He also boasts of his ability to drive while watching porn.

During the ride, we kept ourselves busy listening to Eraserheads music. We kept still as Irwin flew from one town to another. We turned right just before we hit the lengthy bridge at Rosales, Pangasinan. That is how we arrived with Irwin’s alias, the 15-Minute Man! He raced our van about 12 kilometers towards the mountains in the span of 15 freakin’ minutes!!

The 15-Minute Man is awesome!!!

At the entrance of the compound, we were greeted by Ilocano security guards. Some of the guards were actually giving training lessons to camouflage-wearing men who actually look like CAFGUs (Civilian Armed Forces Group Units I think…) ready for battle. I later discovered that these were actually ethnic people given jobs by the company after being driven out of their native homelands during the early phase of the dam’s construction. Security sure was strict.

The road to the site was rough. Simply put, the Company doesn’t want to shoulder any expenses for constructing roads since the place will eventually be turned over to NAPOCOR.

Yep, NAPOCOR…
.. the country’s top debt bowl.

SRPC treats its guests well as we were welcomed to its grand villas. SRPC’s villas are just like that of Fontana’s, though much simpler for it caters more to the needs of the individual rather than that of a group. I was given a room extremely big for myself, plus a personal fridge to cap off any stress-filled nights of work. My team was practically drooling over the possibility of acquiring whores to accommodate more of their needs. I can’t blame them for fantasizing for the room was really huge though it’s not perfect since the cable TV just plainly sucked. We got more channels on free TV than from our resident reception.

Food was pound for pound!
That is in terms of points, not calories.
Prawns in sweet sauce, steaks galore, beef extraordinaire!
Name it, SRPC has it! Dining Extravagant!

What makes the meals extra special is its health factor. Veggies served were always in A1 form! Fresh from the Best! This is due to the fact that Benguet, our country’s primary vegetable factory, is just some miles away from Pangasinan.

Irwin also gave us some jackass tips in scoring drinks. He explained that drinking water instead of the juices served will get you a pile of canned juices at the end of the day (that sounds familiar, haha). We also got to hit on some Swiss Chocolates & Menthol Teas almost every morning.

Right outside the cafeteria is a swimming pool. The pool’s depth is around 7 feet. SRPC makes sure it gets cleaned and maintained properly. At the side of the pool, right besides the showers, is a gym complete with all the works. We got the chance to check everything out, from running thread mills to dumbbell raises & bench presses. SRPC also has a TV above the equipments so you can choose among five (unfortunately) cable channels. No wonder those SRPC waiters became so buffed!

That’s not all. Within the clubhouse is a bar and a pool hall. Happy hour excitement, you bet! Though the wines are strictly for SRPC people only, it was still amazing that the Company had a wine cellar about ten meters long furnished in good wood. This reminded me of those western cowboy movies were you get to pick up a fight with everyone. Haha!

The bar also featured a huge LCD Flat Screen TV with Dolby Surround! This is the ultimate dream for anyone who likes to play video games in their homes. You just can’t get through the hype with this. It was just so sad that SRPC employees use this only for KTV, downplaying the component’s potential. It is just more saddening that they prefer singing Rey Valera songs.

There were two pool tables for the enjoyment of everyone. Puyat branded pool tables compensated for the lack of cue sticks. We even recorded our game thru Jonatz’ camera phone!

Of course, while we dined, played pool, watched TV, swam, and did some working, Irwin resulted to being bored. That’s why every afternoon he brought us to nearby Urdaneta City just so he can get the boredom out of his system. He frequently told us of this strip club he patronizes. Fred even went bonkers when Irwin decided to watch Batista's sex video in full display of the motorists behind us while he drove our van. Talk about public scandal. Until now, I can still remember the smile in the faces of those tricycle drivers.

The week was everything but complete without a Saturday Night Party. We celebrated with SMB Lights to cap off a week’s hard work. Pulutan served were grilled milk fish and green mangoes with bagoong. Beside our table were SRPC guests, one of whom was a Filipino-American who definitely knew the art of flirting with strangers. Believe me that we never had any intention of gang-banging her whatsoever, though that will be such a celebrated achievement in our profession. I guess she was just an awesome hot alternative for the pretty SGV auditor we were eyeing throughout the duration of the engagement. Yep! There are pretty SGV auditors existing, although unrealistic as it may seem to be.

In the middle of our stay at SRPC, we cushioned ourselves from committing immoralities (aka Porn Marathon) by visiting the Manaoag Pilgrimage Site. I have always thought that it is very important for CPA’s to replenish themselves spiritually especially when they have lingering thoughts of murdering demanding bosses and unsupportive clients. I said my prayers and went to the candle stands to light my own. It was my first time to visit the pilgrimage site at dusk and I was awed to see how beautiful the candle lights cascaded through the darkening sky. The feeling was so soothing.

The most astonishing experience I had in SRPC was our dam visit. Dam! (pun intended) I really couldn’t describe the experience as a whole because I’m at a loss for engineering words to use. You can just visit this site when you get the chance.

We picked up one of the security guards to serve as our tourist guide. The security guard did well as a tour guide and impressed us with his knowledge of the dam’s functions and structure. According to him, the 200 meter high dam was man-made. I asserted this information eventually when I saw that the dam’s wall was purely gravel. As we reached the top of the dam, I regretted seating besides Irwin. The road above was so freaking narrow! On my right is a huge reservoir so deep that its waters supported the color of the bluest among blue. On my left side is a huge ravine. One wrong skid will effectively include us in the faithfully departed section.

Irwin parked the van right on top of the spillway. We were greeted by the security guard manning the station above the dam. I can’t imagine how the guard manages to stay composed in his job when there he was in a “no way out” situation. I wouldn’t even bear think how he copes up in a stormy night. Different chaotic scenarios, like earthquakes and landslides, flew into my mind. In an earthquake scene, Manong guard would be surfing the waves with boulders and rocks towards the ravine. Cool!

As we were busy taking pictures, our guide told us that we can catch giant Tilapias, which are estimated at a yard’s length, in the reservoir. He also told us that if we speedboat towards the shorelines, we may be lucky enough to be impaled by Ibalois with spears and arrows. I declined the speedboat thing.

I also saw this huge truck which was used to carry the huge gravels making up the dam. I once read about these trucks in Childcraft, which termed these as Land Movers, and I never thought I will ever see one. I was so amazed in discovering that its wheels are even taller than me.

The spillway part of the dam was way cooler. It reminded me of Tony Hawk’s Skating Game in the Playstation. I though about the spillway’s edges as merely railings for skating. It would be priceless to see someone go skate from the top of the dam and then catapult himself towards the plains. That would be ludicrous and extremely cool. Dam! (pun intended again) I miss my skateboard.

The whole SRPC engagement was a blast especially at the last day. Before we got out of SRPC’s checkpoint, we had the opportunity to have our picture taken besides SRPC’s helicopter. Everyone posed for his favorite helicopter position. Haha…

To kill time, we decided to visit Baguio before returning to Manila. Let me be clear that it was Irwin’s idea in the first place (he declared this eventually in his trip ticket). Anyways, we had a picnic at Camp John Hay’s grounds then made a trip to Baguio’s dry market to buy some pasalubong. We also got the chance to check out Ukay-ukays and Pirated DVDs (yes, I was actually excited.). Jonatz and I also checked our names featured in ACE Review Center’s List of CPA Board Passers. We had our snacks at nearby Burnham Park before we traveled to the Good Shepherd Seminary to buy some sweets. Irwin took our souvenir photo here while we were busy ogling at a gorgeous brunette.

On our way home, we dropped by the famous Isdaan Restaurant at Gerona, Tarlac. This food place is just along the highway, making it a great option for travelers to park and dine. The restaurant exhibits two giant Mayan sculptures at front so it’s definitely hard to miss. Dining tables are fixed in floating rafts. The pool below contains lots of Japanese Koi. Very cool indeed! These fishes were swimming in various formations, adding more glare to its colors. The continuous rocking of the raft made me dizzy so we transferred to the table near the Mayan fountains. We ordered Seafood Feast, which was a combination of prawns, squid, bass, catfish, and crabs arranged in a manner very common in Filipino Fiestas. We also got ourselves some grilled pork loins and some Sinigang sa Miso. Irwin got a massage as we waited for dinner. Isdaan’s musical group performed a rendition of Yeng Constantino’s Hawak Kamay before us. Jonatz recorded this on his camera phone. Isdaan also featured the “Tacsiyapo Wall.” I’m sure you have heard of this. This wall functions as an anger management therapy. You can hurl all sorts of things, from cups to plates, to the written targets on the wall such as your husband’s mistress, your debtors, and your in-laws. The items being hurled was priced from P5.00 to P1,250, which was the price of the TV set. I suggest that you carry your ass to this place if you really want to hurl a large TV set to your boss. The feeling would be priceless! “Crocodile Grill pala ha?!”

After dinner, we dropped Eugene at the San Fernando intersection. As we were traveling back to Manila, Irwin again lived up to his name as the fast 15-Minute Man. From San Fernando, we arrived in Manila in just 18 minutes. Irwin also had the guts of punking a taxi driver along EDSA. He swerved off the taxi and asked it to pullover, claiming he was an NBI Agent and that he was pissed when the taxi made a cut. Just when the taxi was pulling over to the horror of its passengers, Irwin stepped on the gas and ran off.

The 15-Minute Man struck again!

They dropped me at my pad a few minutes before midnight. Irwin, Jonatz, and Jake still went barhopping, from Jupiter in Makati to Cainta, Rizal to look for whores.

No doubt this was the best engagement (Thanks po Lord!) I ever had.. for now! After a week, we returned to SRPC for another round.

Psycho Siya!!!

Remember these guys?

Well, good news for you since Giniling Festival just whipped up a nice parody of our favorite sentai's theme!

Let's all welcome... the Bao Men!


Psycho
By: Giniling Festival

umuwi akong putok ang labi
umiiyak at may pasa
ginulpi ako at binugbog ng aking
syota! sobra na! hayop siya!

naglalakad ako nang may nakitang babae
nakatingin sa akin, nagbigay ng flying kiss
sinalo ko at kumindat pabalik
di ko alam nasa likod ko'ng girlfriend ko!

(chorus)
sampal at dagok! (huh)
flying kick at batok! (hooh)
di pa tapos dinagdagan pa niya uli
kagat ng aso! (huh)
sipang kabayo! (hooh)
di ko na kaya, ayoko na (oh yeah)
mahal ko siya ngunit..
psycho siya
mahal ko siya ngunit..
psycho siya

laking gulo ang dulot sakin
di pa nga magasawa
sakit sa bulsa at perwisyo ang aking
syota! sobra na! hayop siya!

nakasakay sa bus nang may pumarang babae
siya ay nakasabit kaya di ko natiis
pinaupo ko sa kanlungan ko
kaya lang kasama ko pala ang girlfriend ko!

repeat chorus

*adlib

repeat chorus again

mahal ko siya dahil...
psycho siya
mahal ko siya ngunit...
PSYCHO SIYA!!!

Photo courtesy of PinkBunnyLove.

My Boss is a Universal Motion Dancer!

One of the enviable perks of working in a Big Four Firm is the opportunity to have lunch with high-profile people from the business community. Just this noon, I had lunch in a Japanese restaurant with two managers of a leading pharmaceutical company. Of course, my expertise in the arts of using chopsticks failed me, as usual.

Working in a Big Four Firm also introduces you to a drastic community of nerdy superiors. Yes, you read that right!

I cannot deny the fact that most Certified Public Accountants such as I had been very studious back during our college years. I even heard that some accounting majors ate books to digest them thoroughly (I haven’t confirmed this but some of my friends actually witnessed accounting majors gobbling over some Wiley’s. Those guys have extreme brain damage.).

These nerd-type people usually continue on to pass the dreadful CPA Board Exam, and land as respectable juniors in one of the Big Four. What’s unfortunate about this scenario is that a nerd will always remain a nerd, regardless of the position or title (That saves me because I had been cool all throughout my academic years. I have my friends to testify that.) Usually they stay for long years to achieve the goal of being a partner.

What bothers me is the training I get. Imagine me, a cool person, being trained by a nerd. It is as if my nerdy officemates are not punishment enough. Nerd pesters new hires in making some research about imaginary regulations. When informed of its nonexistence, nerd quotes “Nabasa ko na kasi dati yun!”

“Eh tangina, kung nabasa mo na pala yun eh di dapat alam mo kung saang regulations mahahanap yun!!!”

My nerdy superior actually named himself after a Universal Motion Dancer. The reason I do not know. He can’t dance much less look like the person. When asked, he just says he loves the name. Now, how nerdy can that get?!

I am so fired.

Sir Yam: Accounting Professor

I heard from time and time again that teaching is a noble profession.

Yes, indeed it is noble! I can provide you a very good example right now.

I started teaching Basic Accounting to Management Majors without signing any contract of agreement with the school.

That means right now I don’t know how much I’ll be earning, if ever the school decides not to blackmail me and leave me dumbfounded.

My desire to teach does not include the financial benefits attached to it, if there even is such an attachment. I teach to educate people of the facts that surround reality. I learned these things from an accounting professor of mine.

Professor Liggapedersungacastadotan: “I don’t give a shit if you learned the subject from me or not. That’s your problem!”

“I just want you to see and learn what the world has to offer… and what you need to do to avoid getting crapped on!”

I’m proud to say that I have an invisible "Nobility Badge" on my pecs whenever I teach, despite the possibility of my pockets being filled with crap.

Mossimo Bikini Grand Prix 2006

Little Yummy: "Thanks for coming! I never thought I will be watching this with you."
Bhabyness: "I couldn’t believe you invited me."
Little Yummy: "This will be my first time to watch a show of this kind. Buti na lang kasama kita…."
Bhabyness: "At least may purpose ang pag-attend natin dito."
Little Yummy: "I’ve thought about it talaga. Now you’ll get to see half-naked men!"
Bhabyness: "And who said I’m here to see half-naked men?!"
Little Yummy: "Aww… That’s so sweet of you. So you’re here to spend some time with me pala…"
Bhabyness: "Nope! I’m here to see half-naked women."